Through the Looking Glass
Many of you by now have seen the tweets or Facebook posts about issues surrounding my ten-year-old son, Trevor. For those who have publicly, privately, or unbenknownst to me expressed their support (for the most part) to a kid they’ve never met before, I appreciate it and then close this run-on-sentence.
Up until 8 months ago Trev was a healthy, happy, energetic boy. Avid, and quite good at tennis, but interested in all sports he was the kid who had a never-ending supply of energy. Then he started experiencing G.I. issues. Initially this cramping would manifest itself after or during the tail end of tennis practice or after meals. It was hard to isolate. As time went on, this pain became chronic – lasting days at a time and usually after tennis practice. He’d have practice on a Tuesday night and miss school on Wednesday and Thursday due to pain – missing tennis practice on Thursday as a result. We had x-rays, sonograms, ultrasounds, MRIs and diagnoses ranged from extreme dehydration to appendix or gall bladder. Nothing ever panned-out; nothing was ever conclusive. For about 5 months we thought we figured it out and self-diagnosed him as lactose intollerant because cutting out dairy seemed to originally help. The issue is, as we know now, intollerance would manifest itself as diarrhea, not constipation. Sure the removal of dairy helped him – cheese is the duct tape of the food pyramid! So in addition to severe constipation and cramping we told him he couldn’t have ice cream. Parenting is a consistent learning process and you never get an A.
We finally decided to take the approach to have his appendix removed as he was diagnosed with chronic appendicitis. At the same time the surgeon would explore the abdomen since it was still not a cut & dry diagnosis that THIS was the issue. It was our best guess all-around and our son had missed two weeks of school total since September and had ceased tennis – which is his favorite thing in the entire world. His quality of life was shot.
The surgery was on Monday 1/31/11. This was the beginning of what has come to be a period that is at the same time a blur of days and a quagmire of pain; full of emotional lows, and affirmation of the human spirit to survive and to support.
The surgery was textbook by all accounts. He was in and out in an hour and recovery was smooth. We were admitted, as is typical, for an overnight stay in order to ensure bowel function and diet resume. It’s hard to piece this all together now, but from my recollections Trevor spiked a 103 degree fever that night. Over the next day it stayed that high and meds didn’t bring it down. Finally on Tuesday night it broke. Trev had a few bouts of vomiting and one instance of diarreha during this time period and everyone: nurses, physicians, PAs, residents, parents all associated it with the flu. Flu is passed around hospitals like Madonna in 1984 NYC. We had bloodwork done to look at signs of infection and his white blood count, while elevated, was not alarming enough as to convince his surgeon to keep him in the hospital. His fever since broken, and with no more vomitting , Trevor was discharged.
Thursday early morning through Sunday morning was a blur of Trevor vomiting, spiking and then breaking fevers (though none as high as when in the hospital.) He developed diarreha as well, and could hardly keep anything, other than some small amounts of water down. That included any pain meds. On Superbowl Sunday – 6 days after surgery and three-and-a-half days after discharge we all agreed to return to the hospital after being in contact with the doctor at various points over the previous few days.
Trevor weighed 77 pounds when he was admitted for surgery on 1/31/11. When he was readmitted on 2/6/11 he was at 70 pounds. Due to his condition over the previous 8 months he had not gained any weight even though he was going through a growth spurt that added over an inch to his height. He was skin on bones Saturday night when we bathed him.
Sunday 2/6/11 he was readmitted and was placed on IV fluids to rehydrate him. The first course of action. Nothing more was planned. He and I watched the Superbowl and cheered on his team to victory. Our friends Scott and Karen had sent him a jersey earlier in the week – it was the first smile we’d seen on his face in days when he opened the package. His IV would not afford him the ability to wear it. Instead, it laid above his head in his hospital bed. Amy stuck around until halftime and then it was guys’ night from there.
Monday 2/7/11 the surgeon ordered a CT scan and it was determined he was full of abcesses – pockets of infection – throughout his abdomen based upon the surgeon aspirating a great deal of puss from once of his incisions. This could be an indication of more infection throughout and could explain the pain in Trevor’s lower right abdomen – the infection internally could be feeding the now aspirated wound infection on his lower left. The CT scan didn’t occur until 5. Arrangements could not be made between the Pediatric Sedation and the Radiology Team for performing the aspiration of smaller pockets of infection and catheterization of the larger pocket. In the meantime he was placed on a cocktail of IV antibiotics. And Morphine. Amy stayed the night. I went home late to stay with Austen and ensure he got to school okay the next day. Thus began the routine of one parent staying the night and the other coming in at 8:00 am the next day to relieve them so they could go home, shower, and come back.
Tuesday 2/8/11 was the day he was surgically catheterized for treatment for the infection. Antibiotics continued. Amy stayed the night again so I could pick Austen up from school after yearbook and spend time with hime before and at Boy Scouts. Trevor was pretty much out of it. Austen and I showed
back up after scouts and brought donuts for the next morning. For the first time in over a week Trevor was interested in food – fried chicken and donuts. I would typically not be too keen with such a poor choice in diet, but I’d feed him a bucket of lard if he had asked for it. He had some noodles with dinner though and everything was going well – so we thought. Our dear friends Yanni and John Robel sent us an amazing fruit and chocolate edible arrangement. Amy stayed the night again.
Wednesday 2/9/11 was a crushing day for us. We started to see the benefits of treating the abcesses. The old Trevor – funny, charismatic, and goofy – began to emerge. He had a couple bites of bacon and pancakes. He had visits from his tennis coach and a friend I’ve known for 15 years who also cuts Trevor’s and my hair. He was showered with presents and candy and a giant yellow tennis ball from the Syndey Olympics signed by all his tennis classmates and coaches. We all agreed his balls were bigger than this elephantic volleyball sized orb. We had a great visit, but around mid-afternoon Trevor began to tank. It was becoming painful to sit at all. The surgeon was intrigued enough to take him down for an ultrasound. While the abcesses appeared to be clearing up, what happened was these pockets of infection (which are encased in a shell of our bodies own creation for containment) were pushing his bowels all over the place to conform to their shape. This caused a bowel obstruction in the process. The period of 5 pm that night until 10 pm was and is a blur of stress and emotion. The doctors were advocating for placing a suction tube down his nose and into his stomach to relieve the fluids building back behind the obstruction and into his stomach. In theory it would reduce the painful nausea that was now the new norm and also allow the bowels to begin working correctly. This should resolve itself in 2-3 days so we’re told. The alternative – if this does not resolve itself is surgery. We also then had to place him on a no-food-or-drink plan. He would also get a new IV line that would involve feeding nutrition deep into his body from his arm up his shoulder, and just above his heart through a major vein.
So we watched our son get tubed. We fought back tears (poorly) for those hours and hours after. Amy went home a wreck. I stayed the night and awake until I fell asleep for about an hour around 4 am. Trevor had told me that I am hard to wake up. I was worried that if he needed me I’d not respond.
Thursday 2/9/11 was the day that Trevor got his pick line for nutrition. He was sedated almost the entire day. I went home and slept for about 3-4 hours but had to be back to do some things with Austen after school so I only saw Trevor for about an hour. This was also the first of many days spent futzing with the suction (NG) tube that was supposed to suction the contents of his stomach. Suction would cease all the time and basically invalidate the reason for the tube. As I sit here now writing this at 12:17am on 2/12/11 the night nurse is once again messing with the NG tube because I buzzed her in. The Robels came through again by sending both Trevor and Austen Lego kits. Amy stayed the night.
Friday 2/10/11 brings us up-to-date. Today I expected to start to see the benefits of all the hell my son had been put through. Instead I walked in at 8:00 am to Amy and the nurses repositioning the tube as they had done all night long. He is now able to sit up and even took a 30 minute wheelchair ride in the morning. Kendra Little and Jeremiah Peschka, the cutest and oddest, and most perfectest couple that we know sent Trevor a rabbit puppet (Robert), a cat puppet (Geddy), and a C3PO Mr. Potato Head (C3PO, duh). This evening we went for a 15 minute walk around the ward after a Morphine dose. The tour started with him singing “That’s The Way I Like It” by KC and the Sunshine Band and dancing gingerly past the nurse’s station. It ended with me holding up 70 pounds of dazed boy as Amy scrambled for a wheelchair. Earlier in the evening, while helping him use the urinal jug he asked why his <REDACTED> get’s hard sometimes. He was concerned it was broken and stated he didn’t like it. Then again, this was the kid that chose me to give him his shower on Monday instead of two cute nurses. I blame the Morhphine again for that. Drugs are funny. Just say no. 😉
I’m documenting this for myself and Amy as much as I am for anyone else. It’s also nice to be able to point someone to a URL rather than thumb this repetively into a cell phone’s email client over and over again. I once again want to thank all of those who have been with us in this fight – the members of what I’ve been calling Trevor’s Army. He is so geeked out when he hears that someone in Australia is sending their best wishes; or Seattle, Texas, North Carolina, or Florida. Hopefully this nightmare ends in a couple more days and life begins to resemble what it was before all this. If it does you all played a role in it simply by thinking about Trevor and us and boosting his spirits in the process.
Thank you seems like such a hollow thing to say compared to how I and my family feel about all of you.
[…] Guy, has been having a really hard time so far in 2011. We knew his kid had been sick, but Tim just blogged abotu the whole saga. I have boys of my own, and I get sick thinking about the heartache that the Ford family is going […]
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing what you’ve been through! Jason (Strate) and I are thinking of and praying for your family, especially your little boy.
Tim,
Apparently I have been living under a rock and didn’t know about this. I can’t even grasp the amount of stress you and your family might be going through now and thanks for sharing with us. I wish him the best and hopefully he will recover soon and have the normal boring daily routine. He will be in our prayers.
Thank you so much Sankar! Hopefully you can pick up the slack at mssqltips for me while I take care of more important things. Hope your family is well.
My BFAM,
I showed Stevie Ray Trevor’s picture and shared some of your story with him. When I said “His name is Trevor Ford” Stevie replied “That’s a good name. I like it.” When Trevor gets better we’ll have to catch up with the families bro.
In the meantime we are praying for yall. We hope Trevor gets better soon. You, Amy, and Austen are also in our thoughts and prayers.
Andy
Maybe we can get down your way this spring. We really liked Asheville when we drove thru. Give Stevie Ray a +1 on the name thing. Trevor was my choice. Stevie Ray, well that simply kicks butt in the name department as well!
Tim, I am at a loss to figure what to say about all this. It’s something no parent should have to go through, watching their kids in so much pain. I almost cried just reading the account (but then, I still cry when I watch Titanic). OVer here on the east side of the state we’re pulling for you and Trevor and your whole family. We pray every nigth for a Trevor’s speedy recovery. Best of luck.
I cried when I heard you watch Titanic. Thanks Joe!
Hi Tim,
I had seen occasional tweets but had no idea of the extent of the situation. I don’t know if there is any way I can help from afar, but if so please do not hesitate to ask. I’ll be thinking of you and your family and I hope that everything resolves itself quickly from here on out.
Thanks Adam. I’ll need plenty of drink ideas by (hopefully) next weekend!
Tim, I can’t imagine the hell you and your family have gone through. Our family is praying for you and yours. We’re happy to help in any other way we can, just say the word.
Thanks Tim. We are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. All of everyone’s support expressed so far is making a huge impact for Trev.
I can’t even fathom what it would be like to have this happen to one of my kids. My sincerest hopes that Trevor gets better and back to his old self.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Hopefully you’ll never have to find out. Thanks for the well wishes!
Tim,
What an incredible story. As a mommy of two boys who have both had terrifying stints (but nothing compared to what you and your family are going through) in the hospital I have a small idea of how hard this is.
We are rooting for Trevor down here in Atlanta. Can’t wait to see him get back to smashing tennis balls!
Thanks. We’re lucky actually that it took this long for him to end up in the hospital with some of the stunts he’s been involved in!
Wow. Just Wow. I’m left nearly speechless reading about what your family has been through. I never went through anything like this with my two kids – I think I got off easy as a parent!
I will be praying for you and your family. Take care of each other.
Thank you Diane. Hopefully a month from now Amy and I will be sipping margaritas and toasting a healthy kid!
Tim, your family is in my thoughts. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you and Amy, and for Trevor, and even for Austen. Let Trevor know he’s a rock star, and he’ll pull through. And if there is anything, anything at all I can do, please let me know.
Thanks for the offer of help Jes. Shipping a crock pot of comfort food would rock! 😉 Can you fit it in a small envelope? Seriously though; thanks and I’ll see you in March in Chicago!
I am so sorry to hear about Trevor. I’ve seen your tweets, but I didn’t realize the situation was so bad. I’ll continue to have your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Thanks Shelly, hopefully it’s almost over. Maybe we’ll finally meet up an a UG meeting over in Detroit in the coming months. This month, no-so-much!
Tim, you and your family are in my thoughts every day. I hope Trevor pulls through this very soon and can be back to tennis and childhood shenanigans as soon as possible.
Don’t let this impact your decision to reproduce. (Oops, too late!) Seriously, the good outweighs the bad. Thanks for the thoughts and see you soon.
North Atlanta is pulling fot Trevor too.
What, not South Atlanta? Not Middle-Left Atlanta? Not the ass crack of Atlanta? Oh well! We’ll take all the support we can get. See you soon my friend!
Make sure you add Nashville to the list of army members! Praying for all four of you.
Noted: Nashville is in Trevor’s Army. Thanks Christina. See you in Chicago?
Tim — My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hang in there.
Tim,
Thanks for sharing this. I hope and pray that Trevor improves and you all get back to normal soon.
What a beautiful and thoughtful post, Tim. We’ll be thinking of you guys this weekend.
Thoughts and prayers for you and your family, for your medical staff to nail down what caused all this in the first place, and for a speedy recovery for your son. Tell him Chicago is checking in – and if you all like Legos and can bring everyone with you to sqlsat67 you might want want to check out http://www.legolanddiscoverycenter.com/chicago/en/index.htm as it’s just up the road from there, though I’ve not been there myself yet.
Sending many prayers and rays of sunshine your way from the state of Arizona! Praying for God’s healing, strength, and comfort for you, Amy, Austen, and especially for Trevor!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. -Isaiah 43:2
And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4
More thoughts and prayers for your beautiful family are heading across the lake from Chicago.
Hey Tim –
Sounds redundant here but you have a bunch of us praying for Trevor and thinking of you guys in New Hampshire also. I haven’t been keeping up with your tweets so well and didn’t realize you had so much going on. Pulling for Trevor and for Momma and Daddy. Praying for each of you and will ask my church to also.
[…] of the awesome people I have met in my travels this past year (Tim Ford) wrote about what he and his wife have been going through with their son. Their poor 10 year old […]
Tim,
When Dylan was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis we spent almost 2 weeks in-patient for what they call a ‘tune-up’ – essentially IV antibiotics and intensive chest physio-therapy. I remember how heartbreaking it was to have a pic inserted into my kiddo, and to watch her in pain and to have to be pumped full of drugs.
Even with that experience I can only imagine what you and Amy are going through.
Know that you are in our thoughts, and that if you need anything that can be given from New Mexico just to let me know.
I am so sorry to hear about Dylan and his fight with CF. How is he doing now Merideth?
I saw the tweets but didn’t realize the extent of the situation. You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Best wishes for a full and speedy recovery from Cleveland.
Brian, thank you. Adding exotic Cleveland to the list for Trevor.
Well, now I have an update. WOW! I am so sorry to hear about the whirlwind of events these past few months. Trev, I am sending love, sunshine and big hugs from California! I will be sure to update cousin Brian and Great Uncle Gary & Aunt Diane. We all love you and want to see you get better. Austen, Amy & Tim…thinking of you during this difficult time and praying that you are given peace, strength and rest whenever possible. I look forward to hearing more updates…all hopefully positive!! xo
Hey Cuz! Good to hear from you. Hope to see you soon. Things are getting better quickly.
Much love and well wishes from myself and Jessica. We wish you the best and a speedy recovery.
Thanks you two. Hope this doesn’t stop you guys from having some of your own to worry about some day. The benefits outweigh the grief. I swear!
Get well soon Trevor. Best wishes from WA and overseas
http://www.englishtosql.com/english-to-sql-blog/2011/2/13/get-well-trevor.html
How cool Nicholas. Thank you for the blog post and photos. Please thank your parents for Trevor and the rest of our family. Just getting caught up now and showed him.
Hang in there… good luck from New Zealand
Whoo Hoo! New Zealand. Trevor and his brother want to know if you see any Hobbits afoot! Thanks Karyn!
Tim, Columbus GA is pulling for Trevor (and his strong parents) too.
SWEET Tim! Columbus, GA is on the board. Thanks for the kind words about us too, Trevor has honestly done most of the work.
Thanks for the post. I know it’s not easy to keep everybody up-to-date about the situation while you are going through this, so I appreciate that a lot.
Hugs for both you and Amy.
Great job dude..keep it up my best wishes are with you and your family…! keep it up GOD is with you and they will help you in any situation…..
Tim, I am so sorry for what Trevor and your family have been put through. I’m glad that Trevor has such a caring family. I can’t begin to know how hard this has been for you, but I think that you know you have many people praying for you and your family. Tim (my Tim ) and I are just a couple of those people.
Tim,
Thanks for posting this. I had seen a few of your tweets and wondered if everything was OK. I’m sorry to hear about Trevor’s illness, but I’m glad to hear that he’s finally on the road to recovery.
Our thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.
Ed
He is definitely on the on ramp to that road. We hope to be home this time tomorrow or Thursday morning.
Tim,
I am not sure what to say other than wishing your Son a very speedy recovery and lots of strength to you and your family.
Trevor will be in our prayers.
Thanks Roy. We appreciate you taking the time to advocate for Trevor and for thinking of him at this time.
Tim,
Having anyone in your family in the hospital is tough enough, but especially the kids. I’m praying for you and Trevor, as well as the staff at that hospital to get him well and back onto the courts.
Courts or on Drums for some Rockband. We’ll hope to catch up with you on Xbox Live soon. Thanks Todd! (Hope your wife is doing better now too!)
Hi Tim,
Best wishes to Trevor from here in New Zealand. I hope he’s better real soon.
Hey Martin! Thanks for the kindness all the way from New Zealand! Trev wants to know where Old Zealand is though.
Wow! We are soo sorry to hear how extensive and serious this is. Our thoughts and prayers are being sent to you all. Let us know if you need anything, really.
Tell Trevor to hang in there and get better. He’s a trooper. Hope you guys are out of the hospital soon!!!!!
Thanks you guys! We appreciate the card, balloon, and nice drawing you brought over last night when I got home from my “shift” at Bronson. Pardon the smell, and general appearance of your door greeter. He had been sleeping for short stints in the equivalent of an airline chair for a day or so.
My entire family is praying for all of you. I’ve been on the recieving end of miracles so I know for a fact they are real! We’re praying for a miracluous recovery.May Trevor and all of you look back on all of this very soon as a distant memory. God bless you all.
Thank you Mindy! We truly appreciate your kindness.
Sending best wishes from Kansas. Hope to see everyone around Memorial Day.
Not quite everyone. I’ll be in Washington and Alaska. But I’m unimportant compared to the others. You’ll enjoy your visit more without me there. 😉
Best wishes from the Death Star (er, somewhere near Redmond, WA). 🙂
Hope Trevor feels much better soon. See you on the AK cruise.
John
Wow. I just heard the news. I hope Trevor is doing better. I hope the family is doing better as well. That has got to be an exhausting and painful experience to watch as a parent.