Apr 30 2010
#12 SELECT * Plain and simple this is a lazy habit that causes performance problems and possible code fail over the application lifecycle. That is all. “Explain myself” you say? Fine. Imagine you’re given a grocery list by your Significant Other that states: “Go to the Sunny Mart and buy everything. It’s exactly what we [...]
Apr 27 2010
The MidnightDBA (web|twitter) version of phone sex involves dental floss. If you mention that you’ve never used Powershell Aaron Nelson (web|twitter) will offer to purchase, mix, and deliver to your door any and all Powershell Kool-Aid necessary to get you to drink. Allen White (web|twitter) is now on Twitter. (Also note this occurred just in time [...]
Apr 26 2010
#13 Being A Visible DBA At The Wrong Time I’ve given presentations where I state that one of the qualities of being a good DBA is being a visible one. The days of being a Database Administrator that sits in the smallest cubicle next to the noisy refrigerator and generally avoided by the rest of the [...]
Apr 23 2010
Photos from the recent trip to Florida by way of Asheville, NC; Savannah, GA; and points south are up on Facebook and on my Flickr feed. Only the Ashville shots are up on Flikr at this time. I’m really enjoying the FxCamera app for my Droid. The shots on Facebook are all from that or [...]
Apr 23 2010
I give you exhibit A: The Last Straw: Yes, Third Party Software vendors out there are still trying to ruffie our SQL Servers. I encountered these instructions yesterday when reviewing a pending installation process. What you don’t see here though are items 1-11 in their instructions (one being a requirement for [...]
Apr 21 2010
First of all I can’t take credit for this. The credit for what I’m about to show you comes courtesy of Steve Jones and the crew of 1,000s over at SQLServerCentral. When I stumbled across this today I felt like Charlie Sheen on a bender in Amsterdam. What am I talking about? Well, it’s about turning SQL Server Management Studio [...]
Apr 20 2010
Jason Strate (Web|Twitter) sings like the worst drunken office Santa ever William Shatner; dances like Seth Rogan after a debilitating and permanent head injury Dr. Stephen Hawking. Unfortunately Jes Borland (Web|Twitter) gets caught in the crossfire. Companies still continue to make money selling products developed on 32-bit Windows, running 32-bit SQL Server 2005. Some software [...]
Apr 17 2010
I find myself sitting in the back of Jeremiah Peschka’s (web|twitter) session on Internals of The SQL Query Optimizer looking back on two presentations I conducted earlier today. Both ran long – 1 due to starting late, the other because it was just too damn big. Overall things went well. My shrinkingisbadandyoumustnotdoitorkittensaredevouredbyalligatorswhicharefedtobiggeralligatorswhicharethenrunoverbydrunkentruckers did not produce [...]
