Top 10 Things Learned This Week – The May 22nd Buck Woody / Portland Edition

  1. Some developers have decent artistic skills, particularly when drawing plums with crayons.  Even when those plums look like apples.  

    Buck Was Thrilled The Devs Drew Purty Pictures for Us DBAs

  2. I saw a Hipster get hit by a car while jaywalking.  Well, actually he/she walked into the side of the moving car and bounced off of it.  Surprisingly more force is required to knock someone out of their yellow low-rise jeans, yet I do believe I saw his/her blue hair quiver ever so gently from the trauma.  The trick is to swerve *into* the hipster folks.
  3. Buck Woody has at least once uttered the phrase “I don’t know what to say.”  I was there and can confirm it happened.
  4. If you leave me unatteded for 30 minutes invariably, some part of me will end up tattooed.
  5. I’ve been officially appointed as Buck’s Tweet Monkey.  Tweet Monkey do good – Tweet Monkey get reward.  Reward was stress sumo.  Tweet Monkey wanted Quest Flashlight.  Tweet Monkey sad now.
  6. The projectors shut down at 5:20pm on Saturdays at the University of Portland.  Apparently the high-ons in the A/V department did not adjust for Daylight Savings Time.
  7. You can get pulled over doing 140 mph and get away with only doing 5 over the limit… if you’re Buck Woody.
  8. Don’t show up late to a session led by Buck Woody.  Particularly if you’re older.  Or wear funny hats.  Or look like a Vietnam Veteran.  Or are human.  You be asked to sit in the front row and become a prop for the speaker.  You will be Session Monkey.
  9. Someone meeting Buck Woody for the first time and spending a few hours with him over dinner may make the comment:  ‘Could you imagine what he would be like if he drank?”
  10. They hang crucifixes in the classrooms to ward off Developers.  It doesn’t work.