Not only am I going to Hell, I may have viloated a few Americans With Disability Act rulings as well when I was in Best Buy yesterday. Please though, let me explain. Best Buy stores now have stations set up so you can play Rockband 2 (3 songs per day limit to keep away all those homeless gamers out there.) Furthermore, I’m very proud of the drumming capabilities of my 8 year old son and would do anything reasonable to boost his confidence. So far we’re talking Model Parent territory. However, things get a little dicey from this point.
We devised a plan to go into Best Buy and act all “Hey I’ve heard about this son, want to try it for the FIRST TIME EVER?”
He would then be all “Wow Daddy can I? You are the best Daddy EVER for letting me try this for the FIRST TIME EVER!”
This would be followed by him sitting down and nailing all the drum notes on Eye of The Tiger or perhaps something more kid-friendly like NIN’s Closer or Buckcherry’s Crazy B****. All was going according to plan, he sat down, played up the whole “how do I pick a song?” vibe and blew through Eye of the Tiger. We have an audience of at least 10 when I turn to look two songs into his set, during the middle of Red Hot Chili Pepper’s Give It Away and see the guy behind me. Yeah, this is me pimping out my son to show off to a bunch of shoppers at the BB getting props when I notice that we totally cut in front of a guy in a mother’uckin WHEELCHAIR! In all fairness, it’s not like he could hit the bass notes anyway. (OK, I’m now going to be middle management at a Walmart in Hell for that, but it was what totally went through my mind when I saw this guy.”) Heck I even had the audacity to snap the photo. Maybe I’ll move onto Bottle Return Supervisor at that Walmart…
Note: I did find out this gentleman had no intention of playing and was simply waiting for someone to fetch a Wii Fit Wii he bought online. Or at least that’s my story and I’m sticking with it.