I’ve been orbiting in and around Buck Woody’s (web / twitter) circle of sweetness since we co-presented on SQL Server DMVs yesterday for Quest Software’s Breakfast with the Experts panel. Without getting into what I’ve learned from him on a technical level (much) I did learn that he is an equal-opportunity offender. Here is just the list of those that Jen McCown (the better half of MidnightDBA.com / twitter) kept count of in his final session (on Performance Tuning in SQL Server 2008).
| Fat People | 1 |
| Lara Rubelke | 1 |
| I Phone | 3 |
| Homeless | 2 |
| DBA | |
| Dolly Parton | |
| Country Music Fans | |
| Old People | 2 |
| Diet Cola | |
| Developers | 3 |
| Testers | |
| Users | 2 |
| Sean McCown | 3 |
| Brent Ozar and Jason Massie | |
| Washington State DOT | 2 |
| Road Crews | |
| Happy People | |
| Al Gore | |
| Cuban Mob | |
| Airlines, Not Alaska Airlines | |
| United Airlines In Particular | 2 |
| Zimbabwe | |
| Consultants | |
| Oracle | 5 |
| Lab Rats | |
| Geoff Hiten | 2 |
| Buck Woody’s Parents (for naming him) | |
| N-Sync | |
| Metrosexuals Eating Bananas In Public | |
| Metrosexuals Not Eating Bananas In Public | |
| Fake Blondes | |
| XML | |
| Microsoft Users | |
| Grant Fritchey | |
| Sharon Stone | |
| Kilts | |
| Young Women | |
| Old Women | |
| Young Women Who Look Like Old Women | |
| Paul Randal | 4 |
| Scotland | |
| Circus Folk | |
| The Scottish Circus Folk Who Sired Paul Randal | |
| Bald People | |
| Eddie Munster | |
| Lawn Service Companies | |
| Lawn Service Companies That Hire Aging Child Actors | |
| Allen White (for taking a call in the session) | |
| Government Work |
Seriously though; all comments made in jest and the session was great.

























#1 by Adam Clark on November 5, 2009 - 6:53 pm
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hillarious!
#2 by redcore (Dave Rogers) on November 5, 2009 - 7:02 pm
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The Sharon Stone one was pretty darn funny…
#3 by Leif Abbott on November 5, 2009 - 7:16 pm
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I am proud to be on the direct receiving end of at least 5 of those insults listed above!
#4 by kendra little on November 5, 2009 - 7:28 pm
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Thanks for the session statistics
#5 by SQLRockstar on November 5, 2009 - 7:30 pm
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and in addition to all of that, he managed to get his whole session done. amazing.
#6 by SQLRockstar on November 5, 2009 - 7:39 pm
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BTW, sitting with Buck right now. you need to add ’stupid and insane’ people to the list